UCLES dismal season experienced a new and thrilling dip Tuesday night with a 3 run defeat against Sanger. Having reduced the visitors to a meagre 93, UCLES contrived to bat the full 20 overs yet still fall short.
When I was at Infant School, failure to bring the appropriate kit meant doing PE in matching Y-front and vest sets - usually in white or blue. When I say PE of course, I actually mean running around a school hall whilst some old lady plays the piano. Sometimes with bean bags, sometimes hoops.
Fortunately for Wylie, no such rule exists in the UCLES cricket club or the blonde bombshell would have contributed to this most recent fixture against Sanger in his gruds - having decided that half the club kit was better off in his parents garage than at St Catz. The UCLES team responded however to this quandary with typical British spirit and warmed-up by tossing a small red Frisbee around like actors in a clothed version of the 1970's sex education film. Further negotiation and resourcefulness eventually brought together sufficient implements to prevent UCLES from having to bat with argos catalogues, car jacks and pavilion benches.
Winning the toss (we at least had a coin), Skipper James chose once more to bowl first on a strip that was so close to the top of the field that Live8 could have been staged between the pitch and the tennis courts at the bottom. The Danny Boys of Spittle and Danson began proceedings beneath and azure sky and an ambient temperature as hot as the inside of a microwaved lasagne. Spittle's erratic radar was once more to the fore, providing more width than the seats at Disneyland McDonalds, but at the other end Danson was miserly and uncompromising, striking first with a light tickle to West behind the stumps. And as Danson tightened the screw so Spittle tightened his line to deliver his best three overs of the season. With Danson collecting a second wicket with what a fast bowler would have called his slower ball, Sanger had bumbled their way to 60 from the first 10, despite having barely hit the ball.
With the game nicely balanced the change bowlers would be key and Siyambalapitiya and Ordish didn't disappoint. With Siyambalapitiya's waving, wobbly balls from one end and Ordish's hard balls from the other, the Sanger batting line-up began to implode. Siyambalapitiya was the main beneficiary, producing a stunning display of accuracy to take 5 for 16, helped by a couple of decent catches from West and Skipper James. Indeed, Siyambalapitiya may have been the first man in recent memory to take 6 wickets in an innings for UCLES had Visage not played ‘fingerless juggler’ beneath a late skier. At the other end Ordish was simply too quick and accurate for Sanger, twice hitting the stumps. When the final wicket was delivered through a Robinson-Linsdell run-out combination the visitors had reached just 93, many runs short of par. Or so it seemed at the time.
Linsdell and Skipper James began the leisurely chase reasonably well with the latter twice finding the boundary in the opening overs. But when Skipper James fell for 15 and then Linsdell the following over for a pad-based 4 UCLES were left with some repair work to do.
Robinson and Wylie went about this process with great control, ensuring the required rate never looked threatening and with wickets in hand victory was looking something of a formality. Sanger's bowlers were however not willing to give the game up and when Wylie fell for 15 they began to scent a possible change of fortune.
With dot balls becoming the order of the day the door began to creak shut on a seemingly unavoidable UCLES triumph. By the time Robinson was run-out for a valuable 27, UCLES required 8 runs from the final over. Despite a couple of wides the final over was largely accurate and a boundary was required from the final ball to see UCLES home. Rather than seeing the ball race to the ropes, a disconsolate Visage saw his willow rattled and the home side had slumped like a holed bouncy castle to 90 for 5, three runs short.
This was the second time this season, and the third time in less than a year that UCLES have lost by less than 5 runs. In truth, the batting display was very disappointing but much can be taken from an excellent display in the field. The batting will be a blip, but the impressive bowling shows every sign of being here to stay.
As this drama unfolded, a middle-aged man in socks and sandals wandered over with a suicidal looking dog. "It's often harder to chase a small total than a big total" he quipped to no-one in particular. I looked around for something to throw at him but to no avail. Maybe Wylie was right to forget the kit after all...
