For the second time in five days, an UCLES* fixture was brought to a premature end by unseasonable bursts of precipitation. On this occasion however, the game against Chemistry had gone far enough for the calculator to declare a winner. “We need someone from Pure Maths!” someone quipped afterwards. It was a comment that was more factual than funny.
The game started with a stunning moment of sporting triumph as Skipper Steve final secured toss-based success. As he was carried shoulder-high from the pitch he bellowed across Latham Road, “…and so we shall bat!”
Skipper Steve was joined by Linsdell to open the innings under a huge sky that was sketched with weather as far as the eye could see. After a watchful start on a pitch weaved together from fragments of grass like a cheap wicker basket, Linsdell finally stepped up to the mark to twice pull the opening bowler over the mid-wicket boundary. A third attempt however saw Linsdell hit the ball up rather than away and he fell caught and bowled for 19.
Siyambalapitiya joined Skipper Steve at the crease and despite looking positive, he was soon bowled, and thus Dagless entered the fray. Some fluent striking from the new man kept the runs coming and UCLES* reached halfway with 45 on the scoreboard. Skipper Steve then provided a regulation catch at gully before a beauty in the same over dealt with the returning Streather.
Once more UCLES* were finding run-scoring a struggle and Ordish eventually fell to another gully catch as he looked to drive. Parikh joined the battle and with Dagless he pushed the score towards the 100 mark. Any hopes however of setting a major total were dashed moments later when Dagless was dismissed in legendary fashion.
Whilst attempting to pull a short one from a spinner he was struck a ticklish blow amidst his gentleman’s accessories, thus causing him to fall, bent double, to the pitch. As if the pain was not enough, Dagless then suffered the further blow of landing on his own stumps. It took him a few moments to recover his composure and straighten his anatomy before he hobbled back to the pavilion. It was the worst sporting double-blow since Eric Bristow saw a title winning double bounce off the wire and land on his in-growing toe-nail. It was also the first time that an UCLES* player had fallen 'hit-wicket' since 1950s legend Derek Humplethorpe mis-timed a hook in a game against Metallurgy and dislodged the stumps with his wooden eye.
Finishing the innings in a grizzly, mizzly and drizzly conditions, like batting in a car wash, Hunter and Parikh clipped, flicked and scampered their way to 93-6 in 20 overs, a figure which looked a long way short, even on a difficult service. However, had it not been for handy 20s from Parikh and the unfortunate Dagless things could have looked even worse.
With Wood arriving from a prior engagement just before the end of the UCLES* innings he was able to open the bowling in his usual fashion. On a helpful and bouncy track, Wood was causing all sorts of trouble with a mixture of full and short deliveries, eventually shredding the woodwork with a crossbow of a delivery. At the other end Spittle took the second wicket with a beauty to leave UCLES* well in the game.
At the crucial 10 over point in any potential abandonment Chemistry were 5 runs behind. Ordish and Parikh were the change bowlers and both worked hard to contain the single Chemistry threat - a large blonde chap that, like many University employees, drives a Porsche.
The weather was now steadily getting worse and alongside the moistness there was a developing gale. Within moments the rain was racing sideways like frightened crabs and with white shirts clinging to their breasts like clubs reps in Magaluf the captains decided to call it a day.
With Chemistry climaxing on 62-3 in 13.2 overs the game went to the rule book and the home side were handed the victory by virtue of a fractionally higher scoring rate. Lost 'on the Vera' the professionals call it...
Sometimes when a game is abandoned, like last week, there is little point in writing a report. Other times however, someone gets hits in the giblets and falls on their stumps…and then it all seems worth it.
