May wouldn't be May without a greying of English sporting loyalty. As football's domestic party evaporates into twiglet dust, flat Vimto and 'New York, New York' so cricket's soiree opens with a shower, shave and pre-event drinks at the Dog and Duck on Thong Lane.
The UCLES* 2006 cricketing campaign began under a silver-blue sky and hazy spring sun - such a contrast to the weather of previous days which had been more Zanussi on rinse than picnics on daisies.
New Skipper Steve choose a strong side with many new faces to battle Computer Labs in a friendly at the immaculate Gonville and Caius fields. The usual surreal surroundings were in place, including fat ladies playing pat-a-cake tennis and a topless groundsman using a leaf-lower to blow grass of his grass.
Skipper Steve lost the toss and was inserted on a pitch that looked beautiful but in reality was like hairy play-doh. Linsdell and Siyambalapitiya began the innings gently with the latter dispatching two forceful boundaries before falling to every left-handers worst nightmare - a straight ball. Parkih entered to make his OCR debut at No.3 but he was soon also undone by a pitch which was bouncing slightly lower than sand.
Skipper Steve then joined Linsdell at the crease and the two stalwarts of post-Thatcher UCLES* cricket began to compile a decent partnership. Linsdell in particular was discovering that his new bat had more than just edges and after a couple of mighty blows he retired unbeaten on 50. Dagless then joined Skipper Steve and began positively, with UCLES edging nearer the 100 mark. Dagless however paid the price for some early exuberance and a lack of match fitness foced an early retirement at a promising 16. Wood then became the game's second debutant and he combined with Skipper Steve to take UCLES to a defendable total. Skipper Steve fell a handful of runs short of 50 with just 2 balls to spare to make Hunter the third batting debutant of the piece.
Despite some early sluggishness and very questionable running between the wickets, UCLES* ultimately posted 136-3 in 20 overs - a reasonable total on damp, green early season wicket.
Much of the hype that has surrounded the UCLES* side during the winter (you must have noticed the hype) has been about a new-look bowling attack. Adding newcomers Parikh and Wood to stalwart Danson and Welney-slayers Ordish and Spittle provided a prospect that had bruised many egos and thighs during the net sessions. There hadn't been such a buzz about the bowling attack since Ladds and Danson had been paired together during Harold Wilson's first term.
And so that buzz quickly became a purr as Spittle and Wood both began superbly with pace and movement, albeit on a pitch that supported the latter. The Computer Labs batsman quickly looked bemused and it wasn't long before Wood opened his UCLES* bowling account with a quick, straight and full delivery and then added another with a confident lbw shout. Spittle was mixing the occasional (note 'occasional' rather than last season's 'frequent') off-target delivery with some unplayable stuff whilst Wood rattled impressively through three very sharp overs. Danson replaced Wood and the legend, still defying all laws of medicine, virtually ended the match as a contest with three wickets in an over, including a first catch behind the stumps for Linsdell, standing in as a slightly ungainly wicket-keeper. Ordish then joined the attack and bagged a couple of quick wickets by delivering a mixture of full and short deliveries…sometimes on purpose.
The problem of course with relying on an all-out pace attack is that they tend to take a long time to bowl an over. Therefore, as the game drifted into its third hour, so the moon appeared stage right and gloom descended. Back in the days where all clothes were black, white or brown and everyone without facial hair had to wear a bonnet, it was well known that winter didn't really end until June had begun. And so it proved Tuesday night, with a Jane Austen afternoon becoming an Emily Bronte evening, complete with grey greyness, misty mistiness and damp dampness. Poor old Wood, an Australian by an unfortunate accident of birth, hugged himself like a six year old girl playing hopscotch in the snow. And even Danson, a man who has thicker skin than an idiotic elephant, revelled in an early season pullover.
With the sun but a distant memory, Skipper Steve stole a quick wicket, but not before Parikh and Siyambalapitiya had provided more signs of things to come with short but impressive spells. With the ball swinging sideways in the dark, the Computer Labs tail-enders did well to survive the closing stages - thus ensuring that we all had the joy of a tidy final over from Dagless.
All in all a triumphant start to the season for UCLES*. If the bowlers in particular continue to improve and impress, 2006 could prove to be a long, balmy and barmy summer.
